Loving Through Mistakes

To make a mistake is to unknowingly cause an outcome you had not intended or a result that you did not want.

We have all made mistakes many throughout our whole life till now. But why are we so hard on ourselves and others for making them? Why do we feel negative about them and why can’t we look at them differently?

What if our mistakes are merely just a redirection or a lesson? Would you still be hard on yourself or anyone else for making them? If you look at some of your mistakes in life, I bet you can see how they led to something more amazing than what you had originally planned and if not, I bet you can see the lesson that you learned. Mistakes are meant to happen for us to slow down or to lose the control we are trying to hold onto. Mistakes should not make anyone feel like a failure and we should not treat others like this.

We are always learning and growing no one is perfect, we are perfectly imperfect and we need to embrace this quality in ourselves and others. Instead of saying to yourself or someone else, “Hey you made a mistake” what if you said, “ Hey I didn’t know this could be done this way” or something else that is positive and in a way that everyone learns and no one is left to feel bad.

The more we allow ourselves to make mistakes, the more confident we will become because we will not be in fear of doing something wrong rather, we will choose to learn no matter what. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Lessons

We all have lessons in life that we must learn and go through. Some lessons are short and easy, while others can make you question your existence. What is the same for each of us is this: We all picked out our lessons to travel through.

I am sure not everyone will believe this, and to be honest, I had a difficult time ever thinking I would sign up for this lifetime of lessons given everything that has gone on, but honestly, it has brought me peace and a feeling of power.

Viewing our challenges as lessons will bring power to our knowing that all we go through is what we are meant to. There is always a reason for everything that occurs in our lives nothing is by accident. Peace comes from flowing with whatever comes about in our lives, where we can navigate any situation. Not playing a victim and questioning why something is happening instead believing this was all meant to happen, even if you don't have a clear understanding.

There are many lessons to learn in life, but to me, that is not the difficult part what is, is how we chose to navigate those lessons. Choosing to open our hearts to the beauty of life is where our true power lies. Life is not difficult, we make it that way. When a challenge comes along, think of it as one of your lessons you might be surprised how that can change the way you move through it. XO-Rach

Loving Through The Out Of Control

When we feel out of control, every part of our life becomes chaotic.

The only thing we can control is ourselves. I tell myself this often as a reminder that I can not control the world, but I can help create change for the world. This is a hard lesson in life, especially in the world we live in today, where change needs to happen in many different places.

It all begins within each of us and knowing we can create change in ourselves. When we can be in a place of peace and love, that is where we can create change.

One small change can make a difference in how we think and feel. What I have found for myself when I am feeling the weight of the world (which is not hard these days!), I turn inwards and listen to what my body, mind, and soul are saying.

About a month ago, I started replacing sugar with natural sugar, staying away from dairy, and eating gluten-free. I never thought I would try or even want to, but I have to say it has made a big difference in the way I feel and think about myself. My body feels more energized, my mind has more knowledge, and my soul guides me to the places I want to create change.

When we take control of our own lives, we no longer need to control anything else, and that allows us to come from a place of love and passion and create change that will impact others. XO-Rach

Loving Through When We Get In Our Way

I never realized that I was the person causing my own blocks as I would blame someone or something for why I wasn’t moving in the direction I wanted. The funny thing is we get in our way more than we even know.

The words we speak to ourselves and what we believe in ourselves is the most common way we stop ourselves. Often we are not aware that we are doing this because it has been a way of life for a long time. What we say and think about ourselves is the most important thing we can change! If you want to start a new career at age 50, but keep saying I am too old to do this, that is what you will believe, feel and think, which will lead you to not doing what you want. This way of blocking ourselves happens in many areas of our life, but we have to see this first to make the change.

I know it seems easier to blame things on others or our circumstances, but truthfully that is not the way to live a happy and healthy life. Our mind, body, and spirit are all connected and work together, so if our mind is not connected, we are not aligned and that will stop us in our tracks. I know I blocked myself for most of my life, I didn't have many kind words for myself, nor was I connected to my body or soul.

If you want to change something about your life, you can do it! There is not one thing stopping this from happening, only you get in the way. If you stop to think about what you say, feel and think, you might be surprised at what you discover, but don’t fret awareness is the key and the only place you can start to make those changes to get out of your way.

Each of us can do anything we desire, but it starts with ourselves and what we think and feel, make sure it is kind and loving. XO-Rach

Loving Through The I Have to's.

I wanted to share something that has changed how I look and move throughout my day, this has also allowed me to view my life, and each moment I get in the most profound way.

I used to feel like life was so heavy with never enough time to do everything I had to and no time for the want to’s. It felt like a losing battle most days and I wasn’t always kind to myself or anyone around me. I would find myself upset and saying, “ I have to do this ” as the weight would mount upon my shoulders.

I had read something a few years back, and it changed everything in my life once I put it into action. Instead of saying “ I have to” try saying “ I get to”, getting to do something honestly sounds more fun than having to. When we can change our words, we can shift the way we think about what we are doing. Having to do anything is a chore, but getting to sounds exciting and more inviting.

I used to get angry having to take our dogs out, that no one else ever thought about doing it, but as soon I decided that I get to do this, it changed everything. I get to be with these little fur babies who bring me joy and love, and I know there will be a day when I do not get to do this anymore. I am blessed that I get to today and the 10 more times today :). I use “ I get to” so often during my days because it changes my state of mind to a peaceful, kind, and loving place and when I feel anything other than that, I remind myself again how I get to do whatever it is I am doing.

There are many things in our lives that we HAVE TO do, but changing the words around to GET TO, will change the way you think and move around your day and life. I sometimes will sit and say “ I get to breathe”, or “ I get to be alive.” it reminds me how blessed I am for my life and grateful for all that I get to do.

Life can be heavy and today, there is so much to be sad about, but try and find the blessings and bring a positive outcome to what you can. XO-Rach

Loving Through When Someone Doesn't See You

I have said many times in different ways, that as human beings, all we want is to be seen, heard, felt, and understood. This is so important in our daily relationships with the ones that we are closest to, who love and believe in us and knows us the best. But what happens when that shifts? When they no longer see who you are?

Sometimes this shift can take a while and other times it feels like you woke up and everything seems to have changed overnight. No matter how it happens, it is a feeling that can hurt us on a level that we may have never felt before.

There can be many reasons why someone may see us differently than they did before. Having other people’s influence can make this happen, but so can our energy, our vibration. We are all our moving at different speeds and have our journeys to walk. Healing and growing is a personal choice and many have a hard time with the process. The hardest part is when your vibrations no longer align, where they do not see you, and you may be losing sight of them. It can break your heart and depend on who the person is leave your world upside down. But there is hope, always.

These are the moments in life when we may have to reach farther down than we ever have had to, to find that strength, and to keep our faith alive. We can not judge someone for not seeing us anymore, for not remembering who we are, who we have always been. Instead, this is the time when we have to believe our journeys separate for a while, where each person must go off and learn other lessons and grow. This is love, self-love, and love for others.

In your soul, you know your paths will meet again and in that knowing there will be peace and the ability to keep moving forward on your journey. I believe this is the power of love, the ability to hold space for another, but to know they have to learn and grow without you…. XO-Rach

Loving Through the Obstacles

Obstacles are actually blessings in disguise, but you need to look and see the meaning of whatever is standing in your way or preventing your movement. We have all experienced obstacles, it is something no one can really avoid, but have you ever took the time to learn the why of it showing up?

It happens to all of us one time or many times in different ways and circumstances. You can be moving along with a plan, a project, relationship, really anything at all, and BOOM, something happens to change your direction or literally just stops it all together. These are the moments where we can feel defeated, lost, confused or angry, along with many other emotions. Some will keep pursing the same door, only to get the same results or something even more devastating, while others might quit all together on whatever it was they were trying to accomplish, but there are some that will take the time to see what the actual meaning of the obstacle was.

I had a friend who scheduled a routine colonoscopy and when the day arrived she didn't have a ride to the appt, so she thought well I will just cancel and reschedule as it is only a routing test, but a family member reached out and said they could bring her. Right after the test she was told she had colon cancer. She told me she is so thankful that she didn’t cancel and that even though she didn’t want that family member to take her, she was grateful they did. To me it is the Universe saying “No, you will not cancel this appt, I will find you a ride.” because she needed to know the results of her test. Thankfully it was caught so very early, she will be just fine.

I used to be so negative about all the obstacles that showed up in many different ways and times of my life, but I have realized they are truly blessings. They can prevent accidents, illness, really anything at all, but so many times we don’t see the signs, we don’t stop in our moments to listen to ourselves.

Today I had somethings occur and thought a few years ago I would have gotten angry at the world…. But this morning, I said, “Thank you Universe”, because I know there is reason for everything, and it allows me to slow down, to see those signs, to understand and regroup myself to push another way I never thought before. Life never goes the way we plan or we think is best, but the beautiful thing is there is a higher power watching out for us and sending those detours. Obstacles are the way the Universe can tell us , “I have a better plan, trust me.” XO-Rach

Loving Through Happiness

I started thinking about how our definition and what we believe happiness is, changes as we grow.   Some still think and believe it is a destination, searching each day in many places, things and people, not understanding it comes from within.  

When we were little beings, that is when we knew the true meaning of happiness.  We were excited each and everyday to play outside, be with our family, and our friends, to just be.  We didn’t need anything or anyone to make us happy, we were untainted, pure but, somewhere along the way it changes.   Somehow we lose our sense of who we are,  what we value, what we believe and what we think.  It’s like we wake up and decide we need this to be happy, whether it is clothes, a toy, a friend.  The light that shined in us, went dim or for some blew out completely, like we never experienced happiness or the true meaning of it.

Each stage of our lives happiness shifts into new ways.  When we hit school age, we want what everyone else has and if we don’t get it, we won’t be happy.  When we no longer believe in the fairy tales of the Holidays, they don’t bring us the happiness we remembered when we did believe.  When we become adults, so much changes in the way we can view happiness, for some it is their spouse that makes them happy, their job, or their children.  Yet, for others it becomes more materialistic, a house, car, how much money they have.  Happiness becomes this place, thing or destination, where we can say, “I will be happy when”, or “If I get this, then I will be happy”, not only does that create a lot of stress and pressure it also creates disappointment, as nothing, no one can make us happy.

Merriam Weber’s definition of Happiness is this : A state of well being and contentment.   It does not say if you have this or do this you will be happy.  If you go here or there, you will be happy.   I think about the Magic Kingdom, how it has been called “ The Happiest Place On Earth.”  I have been many times, at different ages and yes, it is a magical place, but what happens when we leave there?  We go back to our unhappy lives, dreaming of that place that made us happy.   Our minds are powerful, our hearts are capable of healing, but the problem is many block the abilities of our amazing capabilities.  Happiness for me is freedom, peace and love.  It is contentment for this life I am blessed to live, for the body that heals and carries me and for my mind that allows me to change whatever thoughts I want at any moment.  If you want to be happy, then be happy.  It starts there, doing what you love, feeling what you want to feel, thinking the way you want, and believing anything and everything is possible.  XO-Rach

Loving Through Judging

Being judged by others is not a pleasant feeling, but neither is judging others. When we decide to judge someone it is truly because of our insecurities about ourselves, not about the person we are judging.

We all have been guilty of this in our life. I think back to junior high and oh my goodness, that was a breeding ground for judgment! Everyone there was insecure about who they were and who they wanted to be yet, there was not a class or an adult or society teaching us another way to be, to learn, or understand our insecurities. What I have realized now is this does carry throughout our lives in many different ways and forms.

I know women seem to be the ones who judge more and in many different ways, but I do know men deal with this as well. For us girls somewhere along the way we learned to judge other girls by the way they looked, dressed, where they lived, and much more. When you think about this it is pretty sad to know we all grew up like this and that somehow it was normal and ok. I know I was not aware of how this would carry on through other stages of my life and how this behavior truly harms us in many ways.

I can think back to when I was getting married, a lot of my friends already had or were going to be and the judging was out of control! It was about where you were getting married, how much your dress was, etc…. After the wedding comes your first child and again, the judging is hardcore, but this time the judgment really strikes a chord because it is not just about you anymore, it now is about your baby. It stays about kids, for the most part, their sports, grades, and who they are friends with. It also can be about your house, what car you drive, and pretty much everything about your life. For some, this is just the way of life, but once I was able to see I knew I did not want this way anymore.

Once you stop judging others you honestly become a happier person, not only are you just living your life, but you stop carrying what others think of you. I have learned you can still be a loving kind person and not give a damn about anyone talking about or judging your life. I feel like it is a detox for your mental health because you honestly start feeling lighter and like a weight has been lifted from you.

Once you can look at everyone around you as a soul who is here for a purpose and a reason, you began to see everyone in a new way, a loving way. I know I was guilty of seeing a stranger and instantly judging and making up a story in my mind about their life or who they were. Now, I send a prayer and love to them because I have no idea what is happening or has happened in their life. This way of being honestly has changed me, it has allowed me to see souls, not a story in my mind, it has allowed me to open my heart and that has created more love for myself and for everyone I see. XO-Rach

Loving Through 10 Years.

April 11th 2012 to April 11th 2022 has been a decade that I will never forget, for many reasons but the most important one is that decade transformed my life in every single way.

April 11th 2012 was the beginning of the end. The end of life as I had known it and the beginning or rebirthing as I like to call it of my new life. The transformation that would take place in this 10 year period would change me forever. Aprill 11th, is the day that I said goodbye to the most amazing soul, the one I chose to be my mom and the one who allowed this process to begin. I would have never believed that 9 months later my dad would follow her and then 4 years later my sister. What I have learned in this space of 10 years is that I chose this family and I chose these lessons. I learned you can heal and forgive people who are not here in human form and that love has no boundaries, that it does not matter if they are another realm. I know angels are real and that I have 3 important ones and many others that are always guiding and loving me. I learned family doesn’t mean blood. Family is surrounding yourself with people who see you, love you, hear you and allow you to grow. I learned you are never alone, that we can feel alone, but never are truly alone and in this knowing I am now in a place of peace with being alone.

5 years ago I left a life that I never thought I could or would, but on that one day I chose me. I learned the most important work we will ever do is the work on ourselves. I finally learned that we can not change anyone or anything, but when we change ourselves, thoughts and feelings everything can change. I learned what love was not and found what love is. I felt love for the first time in my life and that changed everything. I learned we should look at our kids as souls not “our” children and how we can learn so much from them if we are willing and open to. I have seen how the break up of a family can change everyone so differently and in so many ways. I have witnessed the beauty in the souls who chose me as a mom and I have witnessed heart ache in the knowing that I can not change anything for them.

I learned it doesn’t matter what you have, material things are just things, but who you are, that is what matters. I learned the art of listening and how important it is. I knew my belief in age is only a number to be true, because at any moment in your life you can change and transform however you want. I found the little girl who had been waiting for me, the one who dreamed, who loved loved and who knew her purpose in this lifetime. I learned to trust, believe and most importantly to let go….

10 years seems like a long period of time when you think of the future, but when you look back on 10 years, it seems like it went in a blink of an eye. Some people wonder how you can go through so much in 10 years, but I feel so blessed, I was and still am loved by the souls who had to leave. All of the things that I thought would once kill me only made me stronger, in my faith, in my love and in my knowing.

Whenever I leave this lifetime I will not have regrets because I chose and will keep choosing me. To live in the now, not in the past or the future. To live in gratitude for each morning and each night. I now know what I want in life. I trust myself, listen to my soul and release my control. I know the Universe always has our back and wants us to have everything and more in this life time. I am proof that love can carry us through anything, but you have to chose love. Love has no boundaries, no expectations, no limits, it is in each and everyone of us. Love is one of the most powerful and beautiful connections we all share.

Loving Through every single moment of life-XO-Rach