Who Am I?

Who am I? This is a powerful question I have been asking myself often lately. I look at it as a check-in with myself to see what story I am telling and whether it is true or untrue.

When I was younger, I would have said I was a daughter. When I was married, I would have said I was a wife. When I had kids, I would have said I was a mom. But none of those statements said who I was. They just defined me by a role or title that I took on. Whatever we do for a job does not make us that, but we have grown up in a society that loves to put titles on who we are. What if you went deeper? What if you saw yourself differently?

We constantly evolve, grow, and learn, but does that change who you are? I once believed it did, but now I see myself for who I am: a soul living a human experience. Yes, our emotions and experiences change us, but I feel in ways that lead us to know who we are. Like a snake, we shed our skin to see a new layer, the growth of lessons we have learned, who we have always been, and who we are meant to become. I always go back to my little 4-5-year-old self lying in the grass and looking up into the sky. I would talk with God and ask him why he put me here and who I was. I was always aware that I was more than just Rach, not in an ego way, but spiritually.

And here I am today, almost 52, and honestly, I am still that little girl who questions so much, but in a more profound way. I still talk to God, and I still wonder, in moments, who I am. But in those moments of asking, I now remember I am love. I am this soul who is here to relearn what I forgot. I question things that don’t make sense and find the answers that align with me. I am both light and darkness; my job is to clear that darkness away. I am infinite, and when it is time to leave this realm, I know I will live on.

So, who are you? XO-Rach

The Other Shoe.

Have you ever felt you were waiting for the other shoe to drop? That there was no way life could be good or that person, place, or thing would last or even happen? Why is it that when something good enters, we want to sit in fear and worry about it leaving instead of enjoying whatever it is in the moments we have? I never believed I was worthy of all the good, so the shoe always dropped.

I never entirely understood why this happened and was starting to accept my life would never be anything but shoeless. Looking back on my whole life, I would see all the times I thought things were moving in the right direction, but there was always a but! But then this happened, and then that happened, and the story went on and on. I realized how my thoughts and beliefs constantly led to that shoe falling off. I never thought I was worthy of good. Whenever something “good” happened, I would wait and not get my hopes up that it would last or stay because it never seemed to. I never wanted to see lessons or signs. I just wanted things to be how I wanted them to be.

I know today that if we don’t look at the signs and lessons, we will repeat cycles until we change our thoughts and way of life. If we don’t believe we are worthy of a partner or a job, that is more than likely what will happen. It has nothing to do with a dark cloud around us but the dark cloud we create. The hardest life lesson is to believe in ourselves and that we are worthy of everything we want. When we don’t get what we want and have that belief in ourselves, it is a sign that it is not for us. Sometimes, those are the hardest to understand, but I believe that means something better is coming.

I try to live without attaching an outcome; it is a work in progress and a daily struggle. We must first have self-love and the awareness that we are not in control of what or how we want things to be or go. We must embrace the good moments and the good stuff with gratitude and ride the waves of the challenges. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a waste of our energy.

I know I would rather be shoeless, not because I am afraid for any shoes to drop, but because I have learned how to ground myself through anything. XO-Rach

What Inspires You?

If someone had asked me that question 10, 15, or even 20 years ago, I would probably have said my kids. This wouldn’t have been wrong, but it would not have thoroughly answered the question. I don’t think I would have known what inspiration truly meant—not because I lived under a rock but because I had not been genuinely inspired by anything for most of my life. I never had the space to be myself, so it would have been challenging to feel and be inspired.

Fast-forward seven-plus years, and BOOM! I was back on my path after so many years. I started to rediscover inspiration and how it felt. It truly was like I had been in a jar with the lid sealed shut, and someone opened it up, and I was breathing again for the first time. Everything in my life felt brand new; I was rediscovering everything that had always been there, but I could SEE for the first time in a long time.

Today, I wake up inspired by the simplest things. Walking my zoo, seeing and being in nature, reading, and working out—honestly, things come to me in so many moments of my day that my notes on my phone are filled with writing. I have realized that inspiration is NOT work, nor should it ever feel like that. Inspiration should flow naturally once we let go of fear and control; alignment takes over if we allow it to, and a new world opens up.

I had to leave the life of living in a jar to be inspired and alive. No matter the hell I went through to get out, I would do it again. My kids still inspire me, but for different reasons than before; I now see clearly and deeper and have a more profound sense of what inspiration means.

Life should inspire us. If you aren’t inspired, that is a sign to change something in your life. There is a whole world of wonder waiting for you to discover.

We should never be stuck in a jar looking and watching life go by. XO-Rach

Unconditional Love.

I always believed I loved unconditionally, but I realized that was untrue. I loved with conditions.

Loving unconditionally means loving without limits, doing, and giving without expecting anything in return. It is more about knowing what someone can and can not give you in that moment or space and loving them for who they are and where they are. When we give anything to someone, it needs to come from the heart. That means our love, time, words, gifts, anything. If we do not show up authentically with an open heart, we do not love unconditionally.

In most of my past relationships, I can see where I placed all kinds of expectations on them. If I give you this, I will get this. If I say this, they will say that. None of this will get you far and will not produce a positive outcome. This behavior only leads to heartbreak and the breakdown of a relationship. It is never about the other person’s ability to love, but instead, it is about our inability to love ourselves.

Unconditional love is building healthy boundaries. It’s saying, "I see you. I see what is happening. I am here with no judgment." It’s being the safe space for someone’s heart, not shaming or blaming. We often react to other people’s energy and take things personally. These are just signs for us to look into our hearts and see why we think and feel what we do. Our minds like to make assumptions that feel true when, in reality, we may have no idea what is happening with someone else. Communication is the key to every healthy relationship.

I now know what it is like to love unconditionally. It is still a daily practice and probably will be forever, but knowing how it feels, I could never return to loving any other way. I like to think of my zoo and the unconditional love they give every moment of the day. They love with the purest of hearts.

We begin to see others when we can take ourselves out of the equation. XO-Rach

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You More Resilient.

Is resilience built into us, or is it something we learn? My younger self would have said built into, but my wiser self knows it is something we learn. And boy, have I and still continue to learn.

We have choices whenever we encounter a trauma, problem, or hardship. We can either continue to suffer or bounce back and become stronger. The key is in our choosing.

I have always known I have been a “strong” person, but I don’t think I ever believed I could be different. I never considered how my thoughts on something could change my outlook on everything. For example, I used to believe everything was happening to me, and believe me, there were times when it felt like it. But now I know everything was happening for me. That simple adjustment of our thoughts can make all the difference from being a victim to being able to cope and adjust to any situation that comes our way. This human experience is not always the easiest process, but learning and growing from each unpleasant one can support us in the future.

When I reflect on my life to now, I laugh at some moments I thought I would die from. And honestly, there are a lot! One of my favorite things I like to say to myself is, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” My point is that I have the power to decide my path and how I want to navigate any challenges that come my way. We all have moments that feel like we are breaking apart, but what if everything is happening to put us together? Our mindset is everything, but it’s our hearts that will guide us there.

Resilience is a choice, just like anything in life. You can be a victim or your own hero.

I am still alive and go through a lot, but I choose to love through everything. XO-Rach

Love Is Your Super Power.

Love is our one true Super Power. It is always there in every aspect of our lives, but we often can’t or don’t want to see it. I used to equate my love for myself to how my day was going, week, or even moment by moment. If all were “good,” I would love myself and my life. If I were struggling, well, then I would “hate” myself and feel that was my whole life, struggle after struggle. Our mindset allows us to believe anything and everything, but our heart will always show us the way and the truth.

If I told you all the struggles this lifetime has given me, you may wonder why I am the way I am. How I still show up each day being the best I can. How I have chosen to LOVE all my moments and can look back upon my past with nothing but love. This did not happen overnight; it is still a work in progress, but it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Each one of us is born as love. Tiny babies with souls that came here for a specific reason and gifts created for us to share with the world. I know we all are brought into different realities, homes, and families, all unique to each of us—some of us were not given the best hand to start, and others were. But, what we all share is a love inside of us, wanting to get out and share our superpowers with the world. I was stuck in a world of victimhood, where I questioned my existence daily. I knew I could not and did not want to live however many days I had on this earth feeling and living this way.

I decided my mind was not helping me. It would only return to those “comfortable” feelings, fear, struggle, and feeling unloveable. But once I decided to listen to my heart, things started to shift inside me. I saw beauty in people and places that I once saw anger and sadness. I had good feelings instead of negative ones. I always knew how to love others, but I learned that when we love ourselves, the power of love takes over, when we wake up with a mind of positives and believe that no matter the issues that may come up during our days, we can lean on the love inside and around us.

Love gets a bad rap. You are weak for being a loving person. You live in another land, not the “real” world. I used to believe that a long time ago, but love is the most powerful force and will lead you to a whole other way of being.

Struggling still happens in my life, but it is how I choose to go about it. I don’t allow the fear or feeling of what is happening to define who I am or what I am capable of doing. After all, love always wins! XO-Rach

Where You Are Meant To Be.

“You are exactly where you need to be.”- Gabby Bernstein

For most of my life, I have always felt I was not where I was supposed to be. I had always believed or thought I was behind in life. Feeling like I had to catch up to something.

Where we need to be is not always where we want to be. That is a hard place to stay, but it is part of a process we can not control. But what if we change our thoughts? What if we have lessons to learn, growth that needs to happen, or are just not ready to move into that new space, even though we may feel ready?

It’s in this space that I feel I have been tested the most and where I have gained valuable information. So, what do you do while you are playing this “waiting” game? You enjoy your time. It is not always an easy task, but I believe it is a sign from the Universe, whether we are being protected from something or there is more to do where we are. Nothing is happening to us, although we can sometimes feel that way. Instead, everything is happening for us. We don’t always see it. Here is when we use or learn tools that will guide us to the next level that we are eager to reach. I listen to podcasts, meditate, learn something new, and appreciate where I am in the moments I have. I trust and practice patience, but I also find joy each day.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. We are meant to live in joy and bring joy and love to each moment. Anything can change at any time, so don’t have regrets, and don’t push forward. Nothing should be that difficult. We are the ones who make it that way.

I know I want more in life, but I have learned to find balance in this space of waiting. I try not to question a lot because I know, for whatever reason, I am exactly where I am meant to be. XO- Rach

One Year.

When you consider your whole life, one year doesn’t seem like a long time. We are constantly changing every single moment of every day. But for me, one year has changed almost everything in my life.

When I decided to move to a new city and state, I felt ready. But then again, are we ever ready for significant changes in our lives? Nothing can prepare you because you can’t predict the future. You only have the moment of now. If you could see your future you probably would change what you are doing in some of your moments, but then how would we ever grow and evolve?

A year ago, I was packing and getting ready to go on the biggest journey of my life, and if someone had told me all that would come, I know I would have never left. I thank God no one has that power because even though this has been a tough year, full of more downs than ups at times, I would not change it for the world. Crazy, I know. But I am alive and have learned so much about myself that has made me stronger even when I felt broken.

I have questioned myself more times than I could count and cried more tears than I knew I had, but I made it through this year. I almost feel like I am on the show Survivor, but instead of winning a cash prize, I won a lifetime of lessons and growth! Believe me, some days I would have and could have used that cash prize, but man, I will take what I have learned and grown from because it has allowed me to love myself more. It made me look at things that I didn’t want to see and feel things I didn’t want to feel, but it also showed me more than I could have asked for.

The beauty of life and not knowing a thing about the future is learning who you are. Looking into that mirror and seeing who you are. That can be the toughest thing you ever do in this lifetime, but I am here to tell you it is the best thing you will ever do. No, you don’t need to move to another state, but you do need to take those leaps of faith, try new things, and believe in yourself as a soul. Loving and trusting ourselves is not easy, but nothing in this world is.

Our mind can lead us to spaces we fear, but if we start listening with our hearts, we can find the love to move through anything. XO-Rach

Full Super Blue Moon In Aquarius

One thing you may not know about me is that I love astrology! I believe the moon phases and planets tell an essential story about who we are, what we are meant to do in this lifetime, and the energy we receive from the skies. We are more than our sun sign. Knowing your rising and moon sign and moon phase brings a more complete story of ourselves.

Tonight’s Super Blue Moon is a rare occurrence that will not happen again until August 2032. You may wonder what a Super Blue moon is. A Super Moon is when the moon is closest to Earth in its orbit, making it appear bigger and brighter. A Blue Moon refers to two full moons in a calendar month. It has nothing to do with the color at all. A Blue Moon is somewhat rare as it usually happens every two to three years. The last time this happened was in January 2018.

So, how does this affect you? Not only will the sky be illuminated by the light and size of the moon, but if you are open to it, you will feel its energy. The moon in astrology governs our emotions, instincts, and inner world. It being this close to the Earth magnifies these moon energies! With all of this energy, our emotions can run higher than usual, and we may feel more connected to our inner selves and others. Our intuition can be on fire, so pay attention and do not disregard anything that may come up.

This Super Blue Moon in Aquarius is a time for emotional healing and spiritual growth. It is a time to trust yourself and that inner voice inside of you, Let go of past wounds, and allow healing to envelop you. It is a time to align with your true purpose and release fear around that.

I will be making moon water tonight, and I thought I would share if anyone is interested! To do this, take a mason jar, fill it with water, and set it outside under the moonlight. You can drink it in the days to come, as the moon's light will energize it. Journaling: What is it you want to release? To heal? What is coming to light that you haven’t noticed until now? Once you have written your answers, burn it! Or rip it up and let it GO!! If you have crystals, set them outside or on a window sill to recharge with the moonlight.

I hope you enjoy the beauty of this moon tonight and trust there is something magical just waiting to unfold!

XO-Rach

Self Love

Self-love is the most essential thing to have and learn in our existence. Yet, I feel society has not wanted this for ourselves for many reasons. When we get married, the vows we say don’t speak of putting ourselves first or taking care of our well-being or our heart; they tell us to love in a certain way and to endure any problems or behaviors that come our way. Then comes having kids and how we will love them more than ourselves; they will become our whole world. Again, where do we put ourselves?

I remember when I was a little girl (age 4-5), I loved love. I wanted everyone in my family and anyone I met outside to feel my love. But it wasn’t until I was older that I realized I had difficulty accepting love. I could show and give everything of myself but not allow that to come back in. I didn’t grow up in a house where anyone modeled or talked about self-love. I knew my family loved me, but I can say with all confidence no one had their own self-love.

It took me leaving an unhealthy marriage to learn and understand self-love and how you truly will never know love unless you learn to love yourself first. I can’t go back in time to change how I raised my kids, but you can be sure that for the last seven years, I have shown them and talked about self-love and healing.

I still don’t understand why love is not in schools, workplaces, the government, or anywhere we come together as souls. Today, I still love love. But I finally love myself, and I am allowed to receive love. I always tell people the work you do on yourself is the most significant work you will ever do in this lifetime. To feel love and give love is the most amazing gift we have. XO-Rach