Loving Through Judging

Being judged by others is not a pleasant feeling, but neither is judging others. When we decide to judge someone it is truly because of our insecurities about ourselves, not about the person we are judging.

We all have been guilty of this in our life. I think back to junior high and oh my goodness, that was a breeding ground for judgment! Everyone there was insecure about who they were and who they wanted to be yet, there was not a class or an adult or society teaching us another way to be, to learn, or understand our insecurities. What I have realized now is this does carry throughout our lives in many different ways and forms.

I know women seem to be the ones who judge more and in many different ways, but I do know men deal with this as well. For us girls somewhere along the way we learned to judge other girls by the way they looked, dressed, where they lived, and much more. When you think about this it is pretty sad to know we all grew up like this and that somehow it was normal and ok. I know I was not aware of how this would carry on through other stages of my life and how this behavior truly harms us in many ways.

I can think back to when I was getting married, a lot of my friends already had or were going to be and the judging was out of control! It was about where you were getting married, how much your dress was, etc…. After the wedding comes your first child and again, the judging is hardcore, but this time the judgment really strikes a chord because it is not just about you anymore, it now is about your baby. It stays about kids, for the most part, their sports, grades, and who they are friends with. It also can be about your house, what car you drive, and pretty much everything about your life. For some, this is just the way of life, but once I was able to see I knew I did not want this way anymore.

Once you stop judging others you honestly become a happier person, not only are you just living your life, but you stop carrying what others think of you. I have learned you can still be a loving kind person and not give a damn about anyone talking about or judging your life. I feel like it is a detox for your mental health because you honestly start feeling lighter and like a weight has been lifted from you.

Once you can look at everyone around you as a soul who is here for a purpose and a reason, you began to see everyone in a new way, a loving way. I know I was guilty of seeing a stranger and instantly judging and making up a story in my mind about their life or who they were. Now, I send a prayer and love to them because I have no idea what is happening or has happened in their life. This way of being honestly has changed me, it has allowed me to see souls, not a story in my mind, it has allowed me to open my heart and that has created more love for myself and for everyone I see. XO-Rach