Unconditional Love.

I always believed I loved unconditionally, but I realized that was untrue. I loved with conditions.

Loving unconditionally means loving without limits, doing, and giving without expecting anything in return. It is more about knowing what someone can and can not give you in that moment or space and loving them for who they are and where they are. When we give anything to someone, it needs to come from the heart. That means our love, time, words, gifts, anything. If we do not show up authentically with an open heart, we do not love unconditionally.

In most of my past relationships, I can see where I placed all kinds of expectations on them. If I give you this, I will get this. If I say this, they will say that. None of this will get you far and will not produce a positive outcome. This behavior only leads to heartbreak and the breakdown of a relationship. It is never about the other person’s ability to love, but instead, it is about our inability to love ourselves.

Unconditional love is building healthy boundaries. It’s saying, "I see you. I see what is happening. I am here with no judgment." It’s being the safe space for someone’s heart, not shaming or blaming. We often react to other people’s energy and take things personally. These are just signs for us to look into our hearts and see why we think and feel what we do. Our minds like to make assumptions that feel true when, in reality, we may have no idea what is happening with someone else. Communication is the key to every healthy relationship.

I now know what it is like to love unconditionally. It is still a daily practice and probably will be forever, but knowing how it feels, I could never return to loving any other way. I like to think of my zoo and the unconditional love they give every moment of the day. They love with the purest of hearts.

We begin to see others when we can take ourselves out of the equation. XO-Rach