Loving Through Your Own Advice

As human beings, we are good at giving others advice, either wanted or unwanted. We can tell someone else how they should live, what they should do, and everything in between.

But have you ever stopped to think about the advice you give and if it is what you would do yourself?

This concept of taking our own advice falls short for many reasons. For one, people have difficulty seeing themselves in someone else's problem. Secondly, humans feel better about themselves when they give advice, but that doesn't always mean it is good advice. On the contrary, it can be horrible advice because it does not come from a loving space. Instead, it's given in a way to make ourselves feel more powerful and superior.

I am sure we all can recall a moment or two of receiving advice from someone and knowing it was not coming from a place of love or good intentions. These moments teach us how to communicate with others in a way we would like for ourselves. I always think how hard it used to be to ask someone for their advice, so I keep that in my mind when asked, as it reminds me to speak from my heart.

The first thing in giving advice is listening to what they ask us, not what would make us feel good. I love nothing more than helping others and anyone who wants my advice on something, but what I try to remind myself is, that it is not about me, it is about them. I want anyone to walk away from my advice and feel that I saw them, heard them, and truly cared.

I always try to give advice that I use or that has helped me, but what I believe to be the most important thing is to come from a place of seeing someone, not a space of being superior. That truly makes all the difference in the world. XO-Rach

Loving Through Unbecoming

In order to change anything, you have to unbecome it first.

Awareness of what you do not like or is not working in your life is essential in change. Whether it is a habit, relationship, or a job, knowing what’s no longer supporting you and bringing you joy will allow you the space to observe and feel.

The way to be successful with anything you change in life is to understand why it is not supporting you anymore or fulfilling you in the ways that you need to grow as a human. Depending on what it is you would like to change, reflecting and understanding the why and feeling the feels can be uncomfortable and sometimes bring feelings you would instead not feel. But that is the point of unbecoming. You must understand why you feel the way you do and how you got to the place you did. Once you do this, it will only propel you faster to who or where you want to be. The way we learn and grow is to gain knowledge of what was not working so we understand what we want the next time.

Unbecoming can be messy and complicated as you sit and reflect on things you may never have seen before, either about yourself or someone else. The beautiful part of this process is that you are healing what needs healing so that you can become. XO-Rach

Loving Through Rejection

Rejection is something that has happened to each of us at some point in our lives, some more than others. We can experience this in many ways from a person, job, school, and other scenarios. The feelings that stir up inside us can be shame, hurt, and embarrassment. What if there was a different way to think about his? One that would challenge us to see things from a loving space?

When I think about all the ways I was being rejected in my lifetime, I can see now how I was being redirected to something better. In those moments, though, we can’t see it because the feelings we feel can overwhelm us. These feelings come from the stories we have told ourselves each day in ways we might not even realize.

In the last 5 years of my journey, I think I have been rejected more than I have at any other time in my life! Thankfully I have learned to trust that each rejection has pointed me to where I was meant to be. In the moments of rejection, when we want to say we are this or that, or we aren’t this or that, we need to stop in our tracks and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes we don’t even want a particular outcome, but it is the rejection that we do not like.

I try to look at this in a way that the Universe is redirecting me to something better, or it is saving me from something. I also sometimes think this person or job or whatever circumstance may not be ready for me:). If we stop with the negative talk and take a different look, believe me, you will see so much more. XO-Rach

Loving Through Healing

Each of us has some form of trauma or multiple traumas we have endured through the years. Some traumas are big, and others are small, but what is the same for all traumas is they need to emerge to heal ourselves.

No one can say they do not have or have had trauma. It is something that happens to all of us. Most traumas occur in our younger years, and they can be small, from someone calling us fat on a playground to big traumas, where a parent dies or some abuse has happened. These traumas will carry with us and manifest in ways we would never have thought. It is like carrying a suitcase filled with stuff you don’t want but don’t know what to do with it. It can sometimes become overwhelming and even crippling to where we can’t move in any direction. It honestly can affect every part of life and our relationships as we can become easily triggered by the words and actions of people around us.

Healing is like an onion, with so many layers that we must go through, and some layers are easier than others. Some layers make you want to stop because the pain of what you are feeling can be too much, but what I know to feel is to be alive; each one helps us grow. Healing isn’t something that happens overnight, it is a journey, and each of us has a different path and timeline.

Even when you feel you have healed something, you could be sitting on a Sunday, and a message pops up, and it can bring you back to a space and time that you never thought you would visit again. The beautiful part of this is this time, you are not that same person, you are a person who has healed this, but you see there was a little bit more to learn and understand. Healing is a beautiful thing for many reasons, but one that I have just experienced is seeing how far I have come and how much I was able to change my thoughts and feelings, which allowed me to see the person I am today. XO-Rach

Loving Through: Love In Action

In the world we live in, there is not enough love to witness. Everywhere you look, it seems to paint a picture of fear and cruelty taking place in many ways and places. But what if you just looked for love in your everyday life?

I go walking every day, sometimes twice, and this past weekend on my walk, I saw the sweetest act of love—a lady pulling a wagon, not with a child in it but a dog. I stopped and told her how adorable it was to see the dog just lying in its bed enjoying the ride. She said he was pretty old but loved being outside. As I walked away, my heart grew more significant, and my smile got wider as I thought about the simplicity of her action.

That is the great thing about love; it doesn’t require some big grand gesture; it can be a simple walk. If we all could find some way to put love into action each day, can you imagine how that would radiate out into the world? That is my challenge for each of you and myself for this month. Go out each day and find a way to spread love to yourself, another person, an animal, or our earth.

I can guarantee you that doing this will change your mind and how you move through each day of your life. Love is the medicine for our soul, and it can heal more than anyone realizes. XO-Rach

Loving Through: Emotional Intelligence

Our emotions have the ability to drive our life if we give them the power to do so. Being able to regulate our emotions can change our lives and allow us to flow and move through situations that once would have stopped us in our tracks.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand our feelings, and what they mean, and to use them in healthy ways that promote empathy, love, and kindness.

There are 5 areas of EQ: Self Awareness, Self Regulation, Empathy, Motivation, and Social Skill. Self Awareness- The ability to label your feelings and understand the impact they can make not only on yourself but on others. Self Regulation- This allows you to manage your emotions and the way you react. Empathy- The ability to understand someone else’s feelings, being able to put yourself in their place. Motivation- Being self-motivated, enjoying what you do, and not doing it because of money or power. Social Skills- You are able to work in teams and effectively understand what others need and can help with conflict resolution.

I often question why this was not taught in school growing up and why it is still not taught in schools Can you imagine what our kids would be like IF they knew how to harness their emotions and have the ability to do great things while understanding themselves and the people around them?!

Each day we get to decide how we are going to show up and how we want to feel and think, no one else can decide that for us unless we do not have awareness of ourselves. We can not blame anyone for how we feel or what we think, no one has the power to make us feel anything. When something shows up that makes you feel anything but positive it is a sign to sit and see where this is coming from within, not looking outside and not reacting or blaming.

Emotions do not need to run our lives, we are meant to feel what arises, but we also need to be aware of why and what is happening within. Not all of our emotions always feel good, but to feel is to be alive, and that is a blessing right there. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Energy

Everything is energy.

Have you ever walked into a room or met someone for the first time and felt either positive or negative feelings? That is the energy you receive from a place or a person. Have you ever stopped and checked in on your charge during the day?

Sometimes we don’t stop and realize how we are in charge of what we put into the world around us. We are quick to point out who is not putting out good feelings, but for many, we will not look into our own mirror.

Every moment, we can shift into and out of many different emotions without really even knowing it. Each thought that crosses our mind produces a feeling in us; some are good, some are neutral, and some can make us not feel so good. When we connect with others, either by texting, email, video, or in person, we carry our energy with us; that is what we are showing up and giving out.

Energy is what you remember about people, animals, and places, how it all made you feel. The energy of someone draws you to them and makes you want to connect with them. We all have the power to change our energy at any given moment by checking in and observing what we are feeling. The world has enough negative energy, and we need more love, kindness, and compassion. Choose with your heart, and you will never go wrong. XO-Rach

Loving Through: Never Too Late

On July 1st, I realized in 6 months, I would be turning 50. Even though I believe age is only a number, it did stir up some emotions that I was not expecting.

In the last 5 years of my life, I have realized it is never too late to change anything in your life. It is never too late to change the way you think or feel. It is never too late to take a class or start exercising. It is never too late to write that book or start that business.

Society has had this plan for how your life should go, but the thing is. we are all different and we change in many ways throughout our years. Our beliefs, goals, and what truly matters to us can change every day that is OK. I have said before in a previous blog that time is limitless, we are the one who puts limits on it, and we block ourselves from allowing ourselves to be and do what we feel and want.

I know life begins every morning I open my eyes, and it is a new beginning. With that mindset, I try and remind myself, as needed, that it is never too late to do anything, try anything and accomplish anything. I hope I make it to 90 and can still be in a space of learning, and believe it is never too late unless you decide it is. XO-Rach

Loving Through All The Versions Of You

Have you ever thought about all the versions of you?

Each person that we have met in our life, as well as the future ones, all have their own versions of who we are. No matter how we view ourselves or believe we are with others, each person will have a different view of us. Now think how different your life would have been if you had awareness of that when you were younger, life would have been different.

I think back to when I was in elementary school, I can honestly say I was not always nice, and I think about whoever I was mean to and know that is the version they have of me, forever printed in their mind. But when we are younger, we do not realize how small the world is and how people from the past can creep back into places we never thought.

So what if we gave our kids tools to show up as their best version and taught them how to own their mistakes and see others as they want to be seen? I think what a different place our world would be.

We can not control how anyone sees us, but we can control, how we show up with others. I don’t know how many adults think about this, but I feel awareness is what’s needed to change the way we go through life. I know I am not the only one who sees and feels the heaviness of this country. The hate, the anger, and the greed have become the sickness, and the only medicine that will make it all better is love, kindness, and compassion. XO-Rach

Loving Through Our Bodies

I find it fascinating we start as these little beings, how our bodies evolve with each stage of our growth and so does our view. At some point, we began to judge ourselves, our bodies, but also others.

It does not matter if you are considered underweight or overweight if you have blonde hair or black, green eyes or blue, dark skin or light skin. There's a perception of what is “perfect”, but there is no talk about the purpose of our bodies.

The purpose I am referring to is, viewing our bodies in a spiritual way. We wear these suits while we are here, each one of them unique for us, just the way it is intended. Most of the time we do not treat our bodies well or even listen to what they need or want, not only in a food way but in the way we think and feel about ourselves.

This picture above is of me from 12 years ago. I can remember what life was like and how I thought and felt and it showed. I had become disconnected from who I was, not only in my soul and mind but my body. I had always been a thin person, from the time I was born till my mid 20’s, but then that is when I let go of my power and who I was. 5 years ago when I left my old life, my body became mine again, my mind became clear and my soul became alive, I had returned to myself.

I don’t see bodies anymore, I see souls, which allow me to see someone without any judgment, just an openness in my heart. We all came here in our suits, each one made just for us, it's our responsibility to love them, to nourish them, not only with food but with compassion and kindness. When we do not feel aligned in our bodies, that is a sign telling us to reconnect and find what we need to do to come back to the space where we are meant to be. When we become aligned in our mind, body, and soul, that is when we leave the judgment and embrace ourselves and others for the light that we are. XO-Rach