Loving Through as a single parent.
I never thought I would end up being a single parent, but here I am…
I don’t think many plan on this or hope for this, at least I never did. But what I know, is this journey has made me a better human, mom, and has taught me anything is truly possible in life.
What I have learned is a family does not require blood nor does it require what we have been made to believe, which is a dad and a mom raising humans together. I had to let go of this notion almost 3 years ago and tell myself that I could not be both a dad and a mom. That required me to let go of guilt. Guilt of knowing the person who is the dad could not live up to his end of his role. Knowing that how we parented was completely opposite and believing in myself that I was capable of raising our youngest.
Being a single parent requires you to become selfless. My mantra I say almost everyday in so many ways is this: “It is not about you”. There have been times when I cry, I feel alone, where the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I wish someone would walk in and make it all better. But it is in those moments where I have found gratitude and so much love for myself and for the people in my life who are here. You have to lose the notion that you can change people because you can’t. All you can do is believe that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t know in this moment what it is. Life doesn’t always give you what you want, but what I know to be true is life gives you what you need. There will always be moments in our live when we question what the hell we are doing, but just trust yourself and know you will always be ok. I am here, after hell and back. Stronger, wiser, and loving every single moment of this life.
To wake up each and everyday for the last 3 years and get to raise this beautiful soul, who inspires me in every way and has taught me so much about myself and life, well that is all I could ever have hoped for in life. Do I wish this dad could be apart of this? Yes, if he was capable of it. I do get sad knowing he has missed out on so much, that he doesn’t get to see how amazing she is. How she has grown and become so very wise and such a loving, kind and compassionate person. But that is not for me to carry, that is for him.
To all the single parents out there, I see you, I understand, and you are doing amazing! This path is not for the weak, because it will make you strong. XO-Rach